How do I respond to someone who has lost a partner?

Anyone who has experienced loss needs gentle sensitive care. Don't try and fix up the pain or make someone feel better, that doesn't work and people feel more alone in their suffering as a consequence. Think actions of kindness, such as as a small gift or a card to say that you are keeping them in mind. They may need a hand with something practical. The best care is when someone who is hurting feels that you are accompanying them emotionally, you are feeling with them, not giving advice or telling them what to think. Know that grief takes a long time. Most grief in time fades, but where the relationship with the person who has gone was very significant, grief can take a lifetime. In healthy grief, feelings and responses come and go and someone is able to get on with life, even though it is hard.  Grief can appear like depression, but it is not depression, unless grieving becomes unhealthy. Grief is unhealthy when a person is overwhelmed all the time, many months after the loss, or when they find their sense of self is diminished by the loss. Then a person needs professional help. As grief heals some individuals find that they are more focused upon what matters in living and have more to give to others who are hurting themselves.